“You’re such a loser. You’re a failure, an embarrassment. I can’t believe you did it again”.
If your friends talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you’d never hang out with them. But we talk to ourselves like that all the time.
And, sure, you’ve done things that were wrong or hurtful or stupid. It probably doesn’t sound like I’m trying to make you feel better right now, but I’m bringing this up, because it’s important to know that everyone has acted in ways that hurt people. Each one us is ashamed of something we’ve said or done. We are alive, and we are human. So, we will err. It’s part of the human condition.
But despite all of that, you are amazing and worthy of love. You have an amazing heart and you care so much about people. You have interesting hobbies and unique insights. You love to laugh. The person you are inside is beautiful, and it’s time to give yourself as much love and acceptance as you give to those around you.
Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, “I love you.” If you’d like, you can add a sentence about what you love about yourself. For example, “I love that I care about people. I love that I love to dance. I love my sense of humor. I love that I keep in touch with people. I love that watching children makes me smile. Yes, Sharon, you have a beautiful heart, you have a beautiful soul, and you are so beautiful.”
Pretty cheesy, huh? When I first started it, I could hardly get it out of my mouth, and then I couldn’t say it with a straight face. But I kept at it, and I totally transformed how I feel about myself. While I don’t practice this everyday anymore, I will say it when I find myself in the middle of a self-critical thought. I might be sitting and the computer and berating myself for a mistake. I’ll catch my self saying, “Why did I do that?” and then I’ll follow that up with, “Because you needed to learn something. I love that you’re constantly learning. I love that you want to be the best person you can possibly be. I love you, Sharon. You have a beautiful heart. You have a beautiful soul. You are beautiful.” And suddenly, I feel a hundred times better.
Give yourself love, because you’re worthy of love.