One begins identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering. Having done this, one then sets about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness. That is the way. Dalai Lama
Have you noticed the actions in your life that bring you the most pain? For me, it’s holding back my love because I’m afraid I’ll be hurt or I’m angry about something. It’s repressing my personality because I’m afraid I’ll be judged or look stupid. It’s protecting myself with an aura of toughness, because I don’t want to be hurt. It’s checking out because I feel like a can’t make a difference.
What brings me the most happiness is loving unconditionally. It’s watching someone light up when I surprise them. It’s accomplishing something I didn’t think I could do. It’s dancing at a friend’s wedding.
Giving creates happiness in my world, and so I’m creating more opportunities to give. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel bad or get hurt. Because I do. But there is less suffering from giving than from withholding, repressing, avoiding. It’s like tearing the band-aid off in one quick rip. The pain is there and then gone. Where as withholding, repressing, and avoiding creates a prolonged agony that leads to even more pain.
Give, because it leads to happiness.